West Coast Stomps East Coast for Freedom Lovers

My sources (self googling) just informed me that Captain Freedom is on the bestseller list at Powell’s. Above, of course, The Chronicles of Theophanes, so yes, my life story is more successful than the life of a Byzantine monk. As it should be.

Powell’s of course is in the River City, aka Stumptown, aka Portland. Sitting here from the communications center of the secret headquarters at Undisclosed Location, USA, I would love to give you Oregonians a giant community chest bump. But alas, I will not, because your chest is probably soggy from all that rain.

East Coast, it’s time to throw down, to show your love for Freedom, you can be the Biggie Smalls to the West Coast readers Tupac. Or will you remain satisfied to be the East Coast equivalent to Flavah Flav, swinging that ridiculous clock around and showing up in a reality dating show? We both know you’re better than that. It’s time to bring it.